Positive media coverage

Who say’s there’s no public debate about how guys are portrayed?  Simon Hattenstone recently published a couple of articles aimed at redressing the media’s negative image of boys. The first was a rather sunny report on a survey of 1000 teenage boys. It found 88% of of them believed their career prospects were good and 88% regarded themselves as ambitious?  I find this hard to believe; perhaps in a very well to do neighbourhood, but in the cities or the villages and in the light of these stats? -

• 97% of juvenille offenders aged 15-17 are boys
• 13% of boys aged 11-15 suffer from a mental disorder, compared with 10% of girls
• 76% of boys aged 11 achieve government-set literacy levels (85% of girls do)
• 57% of boys boys achieved A-C grade GCSEs in 2007, compared with 66% of girls
• 75% of all suicides occur among young men aged 15-34. Suicide is the second most common way for a male aged 15-34 to die
• 70% males aged under 18 who are charged for one offence go on to commit further crimes
• 9 out of 10 gang members are male

hoodie surveillance

Redressing a stereotype biased toward the negative by way of one biased toward the positive reminds me of Napoleon and Squealer  in Animal Farm recasting their first commandment, “Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy”, to ”Four legs good, two legs better!“.  Things just aren’t that black and white, but nevertheless it’s good to read something else about boys.

Simon’s article and those less encouraging stat’s, reference an interview in the New Statesman by David Lammy MP Minister for Higher Education and Intellectual Property. It’s incisive and wide ranging  and starts by asking the question:

“Boys, young men and grown men are struggling to find their place in society. It is time to ask ourselves why..”

He goes on to discuss a number of probable factors and briefly touches on this gender/work issue:-

“A model of work built on physical endeavour is slowly being replaced by an emphasis on intellectual and emotional labour. Women are beginning to break through the glass ceiling, displacing men as the principal earners for the first time.”

Does the first sentence imply the second? Are women better disposed to 21st Century work and so more successful? or are boys struggling to adapt to work outside of manual, traditionally male trades?
Either way we’re probably back to needing those male role models in the home, school and modern workplace and again I wonder why I’m the only dad to stay with my youngest for 10 minutes reading together before class begins.

Just before signing off , here’s a captivating picture of teendom from PrettyWittyPoet’s comment on Simon’s article.

“My point, if slightly tinged with self regret and, a degree of self pity at the restricted options available to myself a few years ago – is that yes, teenagers, in general, are bastards! But this is due to the repression, labelling and ‘mid-way boredom’ where they are stuck between the joys of playing with lego and downing pints in the pub – mix this with a healthy dose of ignorance, hormones, disgruntlement, the search for individuality, the desperation of acceptance, the pressures of ‘the future’, the stifling education system, poverty and sexual worries (fuelled fabulously by the warped, distorted and perverted minds of today’s media and their portrayal of what sex is all about – thanks for that), is it any wonder that many of today’s teens (male and female) turn to violence, alcohol, drugs and a general bad attitude, when faced with today’s society? Please! It’s going to take a damn sight more than Hug A Hoodie or ‘Knife Crime – It Doesn’t Have To Happen’ to sort out our nation.”

Not so sure about the accuracy of “restricted options and … repression”, but remember feeling similarly.

Male role models in early years education

A further trawl on this subject has turned up a couple of articles that press the question of why men aren’t in the classroom helping with the role modelling, civilizing and instilling of those progressive attitudes.

“The broader social context is shaped by the media, and men are portrayed as more likely to be a threat than a friend. Perhaps my sensitivities have been raised by my job, but the headlines seem to be dominated by a depressing cavalcade of child rapists, internet pornographers and young gunmen. The notion of a man as gentle and nurturing seems almost inconceivable.”

Doing a man’s job the experience of a male primary teacher

“One of the reasons they are put off is the assumption that, if you’re a male working in a primary school, there is a fair chance you will be accused of something some time or other. This is because, sadly, there are some people who clearly shouldn’t be working with children and, sadly, they generally happen to be males.”

1 in 4 primary schools has no male teacher

Does puberty turn us into bogeymen?

Didn’t the traditional male parent stereotype portray a rather distant, uninvolved figure who though capable of dealing blows did so in the name of discipline and often at mum’s discretion?
Hardly inspiring or flattering, but not a sinister, predatory figure either. It seems our image has deteriorated: unlikely nurturers, not to be trusted around the innocence of youth. Damn that’s not a good look chaps and it begins to form early on!

Surely after: ~ civil rights, feminism, sexual equality, equal opportunities, multiculturalism, the maturation of sociology, advent of political correctness, and media studies, demonising half the population is preposterous. But then sociologists like Thornhill & Palmer and radical feminism have popularised the notion of all men as potential rapists as have revelations about the extent of abuse in the church and the likes of Josef Fritzl and Ian Huntley.

Two personal opinions about men as sex beasts: if women will go to the trouble of displaying their features it seems rude not to admire them, and secondly I feel in control of my sexual inclinations just as I do my violent tendencies.  No I’m not saying women ask to be raped by how they dress, and yes I understand “No means No”, but the facts remains that the curvaceous female form arouses me, a response I believe to be shared and acknowledged across the board.  It is after all used to sell just about everything these days?   Let’s not be coy about accepting the consequences of our evolutionary programming, the psycho-biological paradigm that is  flesh and blood is as powerful as it is limiting.

“Any man with any sensitivity or conscience toward the opposite sex would have a problem.  To actually assert yourself in a masculine way without looking like you’re in a hard- rock band is a very difficult thing to do”
Thom Yorke of Radiohead talks about the band’s debut single “Creep”

Going somewhat off-piste it might just all be down to the Klan ! (something new every day)

“The broader social context is shaped by the media”

Now don’t a lot of men work in the media?  Though I guess tabloid editors aren’t known for their sense of social responsibility (try ebaying “grandmother’s” they’re all there).   How often does trial by media result in stereotypes and scaremongering?  How well known is child sexual abuse by women?  I’m not trying to pass the buck, but I do believe the image men have per se needs redressing.  I’m reminded of Erin Pizzey’s words about men having been held to account more than women, how often when we scrutinise anything are we pleasantly surprised?

The affect on the media and public psyche of those few men who abuse kids reminds me of the fear of “blacks” murdering white family’s in their beds: traceable to the Ruck family being slaughtered by their servants in 1953 during the Mau Mau rebellion documented by Paige Whaley Eager. It unfortunately stuck in the public imagination contributing to Caribbean immigrants being greeted by signs along the lines of “Room to let – No Blacks”.  Is the situation now one of “Teacher’s wanted – No Men thanks”

From having worked in psychiatric hospitals, I believe that the safeguarding of society from the maniac has exacted a very great price in terms of daily human suffering and ruined countless lives. We shouldn’t need to lock THEM up in order to make US feel safe.  I’m concerned that the consequences of keeping our children “safe” from men will prove similarly deleterious in the home, the schools and the prisons.

Perhaps the next question to ask is How do Men see the job and their role in early years development?

Underachieving boys – early years development

A quick trawl unearthed this primary national strategy for supporting boys’ achievements.

The desirability of getting more chaps involved in early years education is alluded to twice when practitioners are invited to reflect on ~
“How do you encourage men to work in the early years?
Do you, for example, discuss this with other colleagues from other settings, including male practitioners and fathers?”

and
“invite fathers in, enabling them to join in and act as positive role models to the boys, involving them in a wide range of activities, particularly those which boys tend to avoid.”

A small % of 7.5K words, less than’s given over to outside play.

I wonder if there’s a study of the achievement of boys in “male rich” environments?

Instilling progressive attitudes is like singing the national anthem

I can remember being scared of imminent fatherhood, such an important role. My father and I apparently met just the once and I’ve felt subsequently that I’ve made a lot up and never been very certain. Maybe that’s a liberating position, maybe that’s what we all do, maybe that’s just how it should be. I would however have wished for a guide, if for nothing else than to disagree with. Can anyone out there recommend something that’s stood the test of time ?

Thinking upon my eldest’s remarks the other day I can’t help but feel a little disconcerted. Though the “all girls are more stupid” comment” apparently came from his best friend, the rest are his and quite stereotypical, which is odd as in many respects he doesn’t come across that way at all. I’m tempted to think he was glibly repeating playground opinions.

Though I’m not trying to let myself off the hook, in the nature nurture debate I believe nature wins hands down.  Not only do characteristics shine through from the outset, but strong gender differences quickly surface. My daughter loves to make friendship bracelets and carefully wraps presents, yes, to a degree, she is treated differently, but not enough to explain her radically different disposition. The boys only now realise that they are light on birthday offerings for their mum despite Saturday’s dedicated shopping trip.

When I say rearing boys often seems like a process of civilizing wild things preoccupied with teasing and fighting that’s not to say they’re any worse or inferior, that’d be sexist, but they are different.  They are tender and considerate but it almost happens upon them – they seem so caught up in the moment.

A recent, memorable experience came from sitting in an infant school assembly.  When I was a lad assembly was invariably a morsel of moral guidance, ”All things Bright and beautiful”, quick Lords Prayer,  and off.  Today it’s a very much more inclusive agenda and the songs reflect that with words and gesticulations about caring for each other, sharing our road together etc.  Again the girls seemed pretty well engaged but a large number of boys looked out of it, casting eyes around the room and doing nearly as well as the Andorran football team does with singing their national anthem.

I think it’s unfortunate  that my kid’s primary school (300) has just one bloke on the payroll, the caretaker.  It’s tempting to think that more chaps involved with early years education would give boys the  role models to engage them and  maybe inspire more progressive thinking.  I also wonder if this lack of men in early years teaching has also been identified as factor with boys’ relatively poor academic performance?

My 10 year old’s take on being a boy

GJ ~ What do you like about being a boy?
M ~ Unlike girls you don’t have to shave a lot
You can do more boisterous stuff without worrying
about your skirt flapping up
You get to drink beer
You watch scarier films more often
and go on the computer more

GJ ~ Bit can’t your sister do the last 3 things as well?
M ~ She doesn’t tend to as much

GJ ~ Why do you think that is?
M ~ She spends more time making things like willow hearts.

GJ ~ If you were a girl what do you think you might think of boys?
M ~ That sounds like a gay option !

GJ ~ Do you think girls understand boys?
M ~ No not one tiny bit

GJ ~ Do you think boys understand girls?
M ~ Not really Boys are a bit more sexist sometimes they think girls are more stupid.
GJ ~Well that seems off the mark given 11 of the 16 children sitting the 11+ mock today were girls.

No surprises there then, apart from there being really no surprises but for the acknowledgement that thinking girls are more stupid is sexist not to mention pejorative.

Another questioning voice

I was moved by Erin Pizzey’s recent radio broadcast (The house I grew up in Radio 4), when I think for the first time she openly talked about the domestic violence she experienced as a child.  Discipline and hitting  kids are issues that often trapse round the back of my mind, but it was her reasons for adopting an anti-feminist stance that helped me start this blog.

“… what they didn’t realise was that I never was a feminist, because I knew from the very beginning when I first got involved with the women’s movement that as far as I was concerned the movement was totally against family life and considered men to be incredibly dangerous and the only new model for family’s they said was to be women and children which was totally against everything I believed in”

Other things she said suggest this is more a challenge to feminists claiming the moral high ground than a defence of men. In her experience women are equally capable of violence .  She is open about the violence inflicted by both her parents, but her position must surely also be derived from her adult experience of setting up and running the first women’s refuge: hence her status in the feminist pantheon. Despite struggling with the Daily Mail reader inside of me, I’m really with her when she goes on to say:

“This country is now on the brink of serious moral collapse. We must stop demonising men and start healing the rift that feminism has created between men and women.”

Though I’ve chosen a gender laden title for this blog, I don’t think it’s helpful to define masculinity as somehow opposite to femininity. Much more interesting is how we live and get on together given some fundamental, innate differences. I’ve heard it takes two to change and tango and now post-feminism, maybe it’s time to review how the chaps are getting on.

Defining oneself in terms of others reminds me  of Sartre’s metaphor of the park which he used to explain his notion of “L’enfer, c’est les autres”: “Hell is other people”.  He pictures himself sitting alone on a park bench enjoying the view, content that everything therin is organising itself around him as he directs his purpose toward it. e.g. this bench is my bench and here to support mon derriere.  The appearance of another seems to rather spoil the experience by pushing his thoughts toward how the bench might have to be shared, given up etc.

“The other is …a permanent flight of things towards a goal which …escapes  me inasmuch as it about unfolds itself its own ‘distance’; (eyes start to cross at this point but hold on )

-> the other has stolen the world from me.” <-

Oh dear, I think I kind of know what he means, the intrusion of other people upon one’s self centred musings but ~ get outta  here ~ the park’s hardly crowded and if the sight of one other person makes it hell, then you’re probably not too far away to begin with. It’s hardly rush hour on the Northern line !

I reckon the work is hard enough and the space for creativity large enough to not worry about others competing for either, but maybe that fails to take into account less attractive aspects of our nature.

Hell is other people and beauty's in the eye of the beholder

Hell in a handcart!

Maybe I’m out of touch, but there doesn’t seem to be much discussion or media activity about boys and what they grow into.

The petrol headed, beer drinking football crazy stuff ’s well documented; less so how to be a dad, a parent, a partner, a mate and a good all round male role model in these post modern, post feminist, politically correct times.

I reckon there’re more than a few blokes out there labouring for the company, bringing home the bacon, in touch with their feelings, confidently parenting and wondering why they feel enslaved, knackered, unappreciated, and disadvantaged in the eyes of the law.

Where’s the adventure?
Is it really a good idea to ban playing conkers in the playground?

I hope this will be a place to chew things over rather than get up on a soap box and preach masculism.

GenJones

General Jones and troops in the mess